Slavery: God says it’s alright

“…the 1863 photograph of a slave who had been savagely beaten by his overseer. The gracefulness of man’s pose contrasts sharply with the stunning gruesomeness of his wounds, capturing the horror of slavery.”

Source: The National Archives

Now I know that this looks bad, but don’t worry because a god said that it is okay to enslave people. Don’t believe me? Check the bible:

Leviticus 25: 44-46

“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.”

Now I am sure that I have just gone and taken this out of context again, so please feel free to explain exactly what moral we are supposed to get out of passages like this one?

Morality: FAIL


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The Catholic Church oral sex logo of 1974

Below is the 1974 logo for the Catholic Church’s Archdiocesan Youth Commission. The logo was designed by Gerry Kano. I am not quite sure why, but apparently this logo won an award. Perhaps it was the “Truth in Advertising Award”. Well, the writing was certainly on the wall on this one. I wonder if the people who approved this design had all taken vows of celibacy and just didn’t realize what oral sex actually looked like.

Classy: FAIL


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Alien Versus Predator. Sure they’re both monsters, but one says he has god on his side.

Catholic Morality: FAIL


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My quest to get excommunicated.

Apparently the Catholic Church doesn’t like to give up its members very easily. A friend of mine and I tried to get ourselves excommunicated about 12 or 13 years ago by sending a letter to the Vatican declaring our dislike for the church. We even had a party scheduled to celebrate. Unfortunately, the Pope never got back to us (don’t worry, the party went ahead anyways).

Last year (2009) I decided to give this another try. I sent the following letter to the Pope and to my local bishop, and again, no reply. This year I resent a copy of this letter to the Pope and company, and included a link to my blog so that they could witness the result of my apostasy. I am eager to hear back from them, and have every intention of having another excommunication party when they finally come to their senses and get rid of me. If they do not get rid of me, then presumably they think that I am a worthy member of their clan, and as such I wonder if I could get on some sort of guest speaker circuit. I have some interesting ideas that I would love to share with their flock.

I will keep people posted on the details of this effort, and if/when I am successful, then I would be more than happy to help others to disaffiliate themselves from the Catholic cult. There is a fairly good article here on how to get yourself excommunicated. Without further adieu, here is a copy of my letter:

Dear Sir, … I am writing to inform you that I am an atheist. I do not believe in a god. I do not believe that any conscious force created the universe. I do not believe that Jesus Christ is the son of a god, and I do not believe that he was born of a virgin. I do not believe that people are killed and then come back to life, and thus I believe the story of the bible is much like a child’s fairy tale. I do not believe that there is a heaven or a hell.

I do believe that the Catholic Church is not, in principle, different than any other sect or cult. I believe that the Catholic Church instills fear into its followers so that it can wield power over them. I believe that controlling people through fear is immoral. I also believe that the Catholic Church operates in an authoritarian manner and I object to the way that many groups of people, such as women and homosexuals, have been denied the rights and dignity which they deserve.

I find it sad that the Catholic Church pushes religion on people when they are young and incapable of making their own decisions, and this speaks volumes about the lack of conviction that the Catholic Church has in its own ridiculous story. It seems that you do not expect that grown rational people will accept your faith as true, so you indoctrinate them from a young age through threats of eternal suffering and promises of eternal bliss. I detest the ignorance that you instill in people and mourn the loss of rational debate on important matters caused by the religious superstitions that you peddle.

As a principled and rational person, it pains me that someone, somewhere may be counting me as an adherent of an irrational superstition which has done and is doing irreparable harm to humanity and with which I profoundly disagree. Please remove my name from the records of the church, and record that I am no longer a Roman Catholic. Please send me confirmation of this action. Please do this as soon as possible.

Catholic Common Sense: FAIL


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Jesus appears in the asshole of a dog. Possibly an apology for being an asshole.

Prominent theologians believe that this sighting of the lord on the rear end of a dog is quite significant, noting that when you spell “dog” backwards, you get “god”. A church official, who requested to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying:

“I believe that God is trying to send us a message from this miracle. I believe that he is apologizing for being such an asshole back in the early days of the bible.”

Is this an apology or a coincidence? If you are religious, I guess it doesn’t really matter what you believe since you don’t really have to justify your beliefs on reality anyways.

Common Sense: FAIL


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Gandalf Christ: Creator of the universe

Some things that Christians know:

  1. You should always kill a person that commits incest. (Leviticus 20: 11) Well, at least God was consistent with this one and killed himself after he impregnated his own mother. See previous post called God, the original motherf*cker.
  2. You should always kill homosexual people. (Leviticus 20: 13)
  3. Also, you should never kill anyone. “Thou shalt not kill”. (Exodus: 20: 13)

If you are confused, then I am afraid that Christianity is probably not for you. If all of this makes perfect sense, then I guess you meet the intellectual requirements to believe that Gandalf Christ is your supreme leader.

Logic: FAIL


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The Holy Bible: Parental Advisory Explicit Content

Considering the content (human sacrifice, rape, murder, and slavery for example) of the Bible, perhaps we should launch a campaign to include parental warnings for the “good book”. If we need to attach warnings to music, movies and video games that contain mature content, then logically it follows that we should put warnings on the Holy Bible as well, since it certainly contains some very disturbing content. This way we could protect young people from being exposed to graphic content before they are old enough to understand the content and make informed and rational decisions for themselves. Oh, right, religious indoctrination is more successful if you begin when people are young because they have not yet learned to question things and think for themselves.

Religious Values: FAIL


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